


I Think I Might Need You

by KBeautimous



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, Badass OFC, F/M, Fluff, I'll add more tags later because I genuinely have no idea where this is going, Incomplete, No Wincest, Romance, Slow Burn, Smut, Sort of Amnesia, Unfinished
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-04
Updated: 2017-11-24
Packaged: 2018-10-14 16:52:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 11,333
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10540593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KBeautimous/pseuds/KBeautimous
Summary: Dr. Jade Thorpe is a strong, independent woman. It’s how she defines herself, the lens through which she views the world. So when everything she knows and has drops out from under her, she has nowhere to turn but to three men who she's never met, who she will grow to know as, "the fucking Winchesters and that goddamn angel."OFC insert, starts roughly at the beginning of S10, after Dean is turned back from being Demon!Dean. You just gotta pretend that the "break" they took after Dean was restored was, like, hella longer than it really was.





	1. Before

**Author's Note:**

> This is a work of fanfiction. I own only Jade Thorpe, the original character. I don't own Supernatural or the characters. (heartbroken)  
> Feedback gives me the warm fuzzies and keeps me going.  
> If there are any mistakes in continuity, canon, or geography, call me on it.  
> I will try my hardest to post every Monday. It might not happen, but if I've got anything written, it will be posted on Mondays.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's see how this goes. I dunno what the plan for this story will be, so let's just hang on and see if it takes us somewhere. <3 And, as always, thank you, beautiful readers, for giving me another chance.

_Before humanity was created, heaven was a simple place. Our Father would create beautiful worlds, and we would work in them, help them grow. Then the Darkness, which is a story for another time, would come and destroy them. It angered our Father, but in general, there was peace in the routine._

_Not many of humankind know this, but angels are allowed, even encouraged, to have mates. The first angel to find his mate was Lucifer._

_Lucifer’s mate was Amnayel. She was… Beautiful, even for an angel. She was cool when he was fiery, soft when he was too hard, passionate when he was apathetic. She was my brother’s equal in every way. When they fell in love, it happened quickly, and it happened forever._

* * *

At this point in the telling, Castiel always stops and smiles. He has fond memories of this time in heaven, before things became worse.

* * *

_Once they had undergone the mating ritual, heaven quite literally became lighter. Their devotion to one another brightened the heavens, making it a kinder, better place. Angels became more dedicated to their designated roles, they became kinder to one another, and they mated to one another more frequently. It was a time of peace._

_Then God took his armies to fight the Darkness. It was a fierce, terrible battle, and many angels lost their lives. Lucifer wanted Amnayel to stay behind. But Amnayel, she was truly fierce, she was never the kind of being who would let her mate go into battle alone._

_It was widely acknowledged that it was a foolish argument for Lucifer to engage her in._

_When the battle was over, God needed somewhere to put the Darkness, to lock her away. He created a curse named the Mark, and gave the Mark to Lucifer, His most trusted general and beloved son. Lucifer was honored, and took it proudly._

_The Mark quickly began to corrupt Lucifer. He was brisk with Amnayel, and downright hostile to the rest of heavenkind. He became quarrelsome and spiteful. Most importantly, he became_ rebellious.

_All remained mostly peaceful, however, until God created mankind._

_When God commanded that angels love humans above all, above even Him, Lucifer became infuriated. He argued against it, and there were rumors that his mate and he were fighting behind the closed doors of their domain._

_When Lucifer fell, and became the first angel to defy God’s will, he was cast from heaven. I remember it well, and I remember the way heaven darkened again as Amnayel wailed in despair. She was a devastated, broken creature after the loss of her mate._

_It wasn’t very long until she disappeared. There were rumors that she’d fallen, but there was no proof, so no one properly knew where she’d gone. Heaven was a harder, less forgiving place without her._

_We all thought that was the end of it, but..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback gives me the warm fuzzies and keeps me going.


	2. No Strings Attached

Before our story begins, dear reader, let me tell you about Jade.

Dr. Jade Thorpe is a strong, independent woman. It’s how she defines herself, the lens through which she views the world. She has never particularly needed another person, and she certainly doesn’t _want_ one.

There’s not really a reason she doesn’t want a partner. She hasn’t really been hurt before, she doesn’t have hang-ups about sex or relationships. People just tend to make life unnecessarily complicated, and she very much enjoys her simple, solitary life.

She has a couple of good friends, but has no need for anyone else. On occasion, of course, she seeks out someone out to scratch an itch, but in those cases she makes herself very clear. Whether it’s a man or a woman she gives the speech to, it’s always the same.

“No strings attached. No catching feelings. Just good, clean, dirty fun, then we go our separate ways forever.”

She’s never slept with one person more than a couple of times, and it’s almost always one and done. No one gets hurt. No one makes sad puppy eyes at her or begs her to stay or touches her too much. Which is just how she likes it.

The little house she owns is all hers, and she keeps it up herself. She mows her own grass, cleans her own gutters, and does all of the maintenance required to keep a house standing. She has never asked anyone for help in her adult life, and she never intends to start.

Jade is a veterinarian who runs her own practice in a very small town in South Dakota. She has kept it standing by pure, unadulterated grit. Any problem that’s thrown her way is dealt with in a brisk, methodical manner that puts a lot of people off. It’s how she’s gotten to the place she is. A place where she can let a bill slide to save a family hound who got hit by a car. A place where she can look the other way when it comes to payment to make sure that the Delaney farm cat has six healthy kittens, and gets spayed soon after.

Dr. Jade Thorpe is a strong, independent woman. It’s how she defines herself, the lens through which she views the world.

So when everything she knows and has drops out from under her, she has nowhere to turn but to three men who she's never met, who she will grow to know as, "the fucking Winchesters and that goddamn angel."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback gives me the warm fuzzies and keeps me going.


	3. On Second Thought

Dean Winchester sits at the table in the bunker’s kitchen, combing the newspaper for jobs. It’s been quiet, and he’s getting restless. He likes vacation as much as the next guy, but too many days without hunting make him twitchy. He is not a man who deals with idle time well.

So when his cell phone rings and he reads Cass’s name on the display, he answers with relief. “Cass, tell me you’ve got a case.”

“I… May have found something. Where are you and Sam?”

Dean frowns. “We’re at home, we’re-” He hears a fluttering of wings, then the echo of the end of his voice over a tinny phone line. “-taking a little R and R.”

He turns and takes in his friend’s disheveled appearance curiously. “What’s the deal, Cass?”

The angel is frowning. “I’m not sure yet. It’s… Complicated.”

* * *

“All right, Ketchup, you’re all done,” Jade says soothingly as she deposits the still-groggy cat into one of the standing metal kennels. She pets the cat’s pretty head for a moment before shutting the cage door and turning to her overnight kennel assistant, Hannah.

“Han, keep a close eye on her, please. We got the leg set, but if she has a bad reaction to that pain medicine, call me right away.”

The perky teenager grins. “Will you _please_ cut me some slack, Doc? I got this. Me and Ketchup will be just fine.”

Jade smiles. She likes Hannah, the girl has a good head on her shoulders and a deep passion for animals that will get her the veterinary medicine degree she wants. “I’m sorry you have to stay for one cat, I just can’t leave her alone.”

Hannah smiles brightly. “No worries! It’ll give me time to catch up on trig homework, anyway.”

Jade nods. “All right, then. I’ll get out of your hair.”

She goes to the back office to gather her things. It’s been a long day, and the cat came in ten minutes before close. Ketchup somehow broke her leg, and although her boy was devastated and crying, Ketchup bore the pain the way that all cats bear pain. She was silent and uncomplaining, refusing to let anyone know she was hurting.

Jade likes cats.

Jade is bending to pull her bag out of the bottom drawer of her desk when she’s hit hard with a wave of disorientation. The accompanying dizziness has her sliding to her knees in an attempt to avoid falling. Her left hand flails out to try to catch herself, but only manages to send her office chair flying into the wall as she ends up crumpling to the ground.

_Ouch. What the fuck?_

She stays where she is for a moment, letting the stars dancing in her vision clear. When they do, Hannah’s pretty, concerned face is hovering over hers. “Doc? Are you okay? Should I call an-“

“No, no, no, I’m fine,” Jade says softly, sitting up slowly. She puts a hand to her head and rubs her temple gently. “Just tired, I’ll be all right.”

Hannah frowns. “Are you sure you’re going to be okay to drive?”

Jade smiles. “I’ll be fine, Han.”

* * *

“You remember Anna?”

Sam Winchester nods thoughtfully. “Yeah, the angel from your garrison who fell and became human, right?”

Castiel nods, too. The three of them sit at one of the library tables, discussing what Cass has found.

“Yes.”

“What about her?” Dean asks testily. Sam suspects that Dean and Anna had some sort of “thing” when she was on their side, but he doesn’t particularly want to know the details of his brother’s sex life, so he never asked. Dean usually volunteers that information, anyway, but he didn’t with Anna, so Sam left it alone.

“I thought… _We,_ everyone thought she was an isolated incident,” Castiel says, meeting their eyes in turn in that intense way that really only angels seemed to do. “We should have heard if there was another.”

Sam frowns. “What… I mean, what are we talking about here, Cass?”

“I think… That another angel fell, the way Anna did.”

Dean leans forward, resting his weight on his elbows on the table. “All right. Do you know who?”

Castiel nods slowly. “I suspect so. Her… Her name was Amnayel.”

* * *

_“...Oh, Lord, Oh, Lord, what do I do? I’ve fallen for someone who’s nothing like you._

_He’s raised on the edge of the devil’s backbone, oh, I just wanna take him home...”_

Jade sings absent-mindedly to one of her favorite songs, half-formed images of strong shoulders and stubbled jaws almost coming to fruition as the lyrics croon to her. She’s tired, and she wants to get home before another dizzy spell hits her, if one is in fact going to.

She’s lost in her thoughts and the music, so when the man appears in the road, highlighted by her little SUV’s headlights, it takes her a beat to realize he’s there.

 _“Shit!”_ She slams on the brakes, lifting her ass out of the seat to put all of her weight on her feet. The car slides around on the road and instincts kick in. She turns the wheel into the slide, controlling it, until she ends up sideways across the road, less than ten feet from where the man is standing.

Far from angry, she’s _terrified._ She leaps out of the car and hurries toward him. “Are you okay?” she asks quickly, scanning his body for injuries. “What happened? Are you hurt?”

The man looks at her evenly. “Amnayel, you look… Well.”

Jade frowns. “Amna… What?” Dread makes her stomach tight. “Oh, God, did you hit your head?” She steps closer to him, raising her hand to touch his arm. “Hey, let’s get you to a hospital-”

“Amnayel, cease this charade,” he snaps.

She stops, then takes a tiny, hesitant step back. “Um, okay, I’m just gonna go get my phone so we can call an ambulance, okay?”

He advances on her, and she moves backward faster. “Amnayel, sister, I am sorry, but I do not have a choice.”

Jade’s eyes widen as her back hits the side of her car. “Look, I don’t know what you’re talking about, but you _do_ have a choice.”

He shakes his head, but when she meets his eyes, she doesn’t see even a flash of remorse. “I _am_ sorry, Amnayel.” A silver blade drops from his sleeve, and her heart stops.

He grips the handle and takes what should have been the last step he needs to attack her. Jade feels her heart beat hard in her chest, and every part of her is _screaming_ to flatten herself against the car and close her eyes.

Instead, when he lunges for her, she seems to watch from outside herself as she catches his hand. She slides to the side and yanks him forward, then places her other hand on the back of his head and slams it into the SUV. He groans, but stays standing and doesn’t seem too terribly fazed.

She turns to run, but there’s a petite blonde woman in the way. Not only does the newcomer not have remorse in her expression, she’s _angry._ “Amnayel,” she snaps. “Enough of this.”

“Who the hell are you even _talking_ about?” Jade asks desperately.

The blonde doesn’t respond, she just lashes out at Jade. Jade finds herself easily blocking the attack. She grabs the smaller woman’s wrist and swings her arm around so she can shove it up her back, far enough to make the other woman drop the silver blade she holds.

Jade snatches it up and holds it in front of her, backing away slowly. There are several more people now, having appeared seemingly out of thin air. Jade feels adrenaline pumping through her, making her limbs shake a little.

“Look,” she says loudly. “I don’t know who this person is that you’re looking for, but I’m not her. My name is Dr. Thorpe, I’m a veterinarian. I won’t tell anyone about this, and I barely saw any of you. So I’m just gonna get back in my car and go, okay?”

The person closest to her, a tall, thin man, doesn’t even respond before he attacks her.

She again finds herself blocking and delivering blows at a pace her eyes can’t keep up with. She fights him hard, then fights the next one that comes for her, and the one after that.

She’s standing between two people, fighting them simultaneously, when she hears new voices through the blood roaring in her ears. She doesn’t have time to turn to look at them, but she _is_ able to discern that there are three of them, all men, and they seem to be fighting the people she’s fighting.

For now, that’s good enough for her.

* * *

Dean is flying through the air when he sees her.

Cass transported them into the middle of a fight. There was a knot of fighting somewhere off to the side, but the three of them were immediately set upon by angels, so Dean didn’t have time to do anything but begin to defend himself.

He still isn’t sure why Cass brought them to a fight with angels. He knows that the Winchesters will probably get their asses kicked, but he asked them to come, anyway, and they did. After everything Castiel has done for them, neither of them even hesitated.

The angel he’s been fighting has decided she has had enough. She grabs him by the shoulders with her angel strength and tosses him away from her.

While in the air, he sees _her._

She has dark hair, he can’t really see the color in the night. She’s short, probably a full half a foot shorter than him, and Jesus Christ the _curves_ on this woman. She isn’t overweight, but Dean has always liked women who had a little bit more to hold, and she is _beautifully_ built, like she’s handmade to be held.

She’s fighting fiercely, too. Her face is set, her movements are dangerously fast. _Can’t be human,_ he thinks, just before he hits a tree and stops thinking altogether.

* * *

Sam sees Dean get tossed through the air, but manages to stay focused and ram the angel blade in his hand through the chest of the angel in front of him. He closes his eyes as the light bursts from the vessel’s eyes and mouth. He yanks the blade out and runs toward the group of angels who appear to be ganging up on a human and starts fighting.

It’s fast and hard, and luck more than anything that gets him to the middle, where he sees _her._

She’s classically beautiful, like a woman who should be in old black and white movies. Her hair, pulled back into a ponytail, is thick and dark. It sways with each movement she makes. She’s truly gorgeous.

Sam, however, doesn’t really notice that. Or, rather, he _does,_ but it isn’t at the forefront of his mind. He notices the way she _moves._ Every movement, whether defensive or offensive, is smooth and sure and somehow… Sensual. Intoxicating. Enrapturing.

 _Focus, Winchester,_ he says firmly to himself, and rededicates himself to the fight.

Before he can get far, however, the angels in front of him all back off. The one in front, a petite blonde who’s snarling at the woman standing next to Sam, sneers, “This isn’t over, Amnayel. Castiel won’t always be here to protect you.”

They all disappear.

Sam watches as Castiel goes to Dean to check on him, and he turns to the woman standing next to him. “Are you all right?”

She looks up at him with stormy grey eyes. “Who the _fuck_ is Castiel?”

* * *

Jade is _livid._ More accurately, she’s terrified, and confused, and somehow both tired and keyed up at the same time. But angry is easier, so she goes with that.

“Who the _fuck_ is Castiel? And who the _fuck_ are you?” She waves her hand at the ridiculously handsome, tall man standing next to her. “And who the _fuck_ were they?” She groans and rubs her free hand down her face. “What the _fuck_ is going on?”

“Okay, um, I can’t answer everything,” his deep, rolling, smooth voice washes over her as he speaks. “But as for me, my name is Sam Winchester.” She looks up at him, then follows his gaze when he looks over at the two men limping toward them. “Trench coat is Castiel, and the one with who’s hurt is Dean, my brother.”

Jade takes a deep breath and nods. “Okay. Okay. Sam, Castiel, and Dean.” Her mind is racing, but she can at least remember _that._

“What’s your name?” Sam asks kindly.

“Um, Jade. Thorpe. My name is Jade Thorpe.”

He smiles, and it’s kind, too. Something in her relaxes just a little at the sight of it. She nods again. “Okay, so does anyone know what the hell is going on here?” Before any of them can answer, she narrows her eyes at the injured man, “Dean” she thinks his name is. “How bad are you hurt?”

He shrugs. “I’m fine.”

She frowns. “You’re not. It’s your knee, right? Probably your ACL.” She tries not to wonder how a human being threw another human being that far and that hard, because that’s not what’s important.

Dean is eyeing her. “You a doctor?”

Something about the deep timbre of his voice makes her tingle with awareness. She ignores it and smiles. “Sort of. I’m a veterinarian.”

Dean’s amused eyes shoot to Sam. “Really? Sammy here’s got a thing for dog doctors.” Jade feels herself blush and she looks down to hide it.

The sound of someone being struck has her looking up again. Sam is glaring at Dean, who has a shit-eating grin on his face. It makes her lips tilt up in a smile, and she somehow feels better watching the two of them. _They’re a family,_ she thinks wistfully.

She frowns at the thought. _What the hell?_ She has never wanted a family, she has never even wanted people around. She’s an only child, and her parents died just after she got into college. She’s never had anyone.

So why does she feel empty watching them? Almost _nostalgic?_

It has been a long night, she’s just tired, she assures herself. She just needs to go home, get into her flannel pajamas that she’d never let anyone see, and go the hell to bed.

First, though, she has to deal with this.

 _“Okay_ then,” she says briskly. “I’m going to go home, then. Um, thanks for your help, even though I’m pretty certain this was a vivid hallucination brought on by… Something. Working too much, maybe.” She smiles at them, then makes to turn, ignoring the consternation on the three handsome faces in front of her.

She looks down to see the long silver blade in her hand, and something in Jade’s mind snaps.

She bites down on her lip hard to stem the tears that are trying to fill her eyes. _God dammit._ _Why_ did those people attack her? Hallucination or no, they were way too strong to be normal people. Hell, _Jade_ was way too strong, not to mention fast. Were they on drugs? Where did they _come_ from? It looked like they just appeared out of nowhere.

Just like the three men in front of her.

She looks up at the dark-haired man who hasn’t spoken yet. _Castiel,_ her mind provides. In his blue eyes she sees something akin to regret, and sympathy. It makes her feel comforted.

“On second thought,” she says softly, “can anyone tell me what the fuck is going on?”

Then dizziness hits her again, and she feels herself pitch forward as darkness envelopes her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback gives me the warm fuzzies and keeps me going.  
> **Look! A plot!


	4. You Can Go Now

Sam finds himself catching Jade before he really has time to think about what he’s doing. It’s just sort of instinct to make sure she doesn’t hit the ground.

Feeling a little awkward then, he gently scoops her into his arms princess-style, lifting her with ease. He only lets his eyes linger on her face for a moment. _She’s stunning._

He lifts his gaze to see Dean looking at them with an unreadable expression on his face, and Castiel looking like a combination of fascinated and confused. Sam frowns, starting to get defensive. “What?”

“We should get her to safety,” Castiel says simply. “The angels won’t stop. They will come for her again.”

The woman in his arms stirs and makes a soft sound in the back of her throat. It sounds like a whimper. Sam tenses, and from the corner of his eye, sees his brother do the same.

He frowns again, but keeps his mouth shut.

* * *

Jade dreams, although it’s so vivid she can’t properly call it a dream.

* * *

_“Lucifer, please,” she sobs, her wings fluttering anxiously. “You don’t know what you’re saying. The Mark-“_

_“Do not blame the Mark!” he bellows._

_She refuses to flinch, refuses to back down from him. He is her lover, her mate, and she is not afraid of him._

_“Since you took the Mark, you’ve been_ different,” _she insists, almost desperately. “And now Father has commanded that we love humanity, and you question Him!”_

_The love of her long, long existence, with his golden hair, golden eyes, and six massive white wings, approaches her. He’s so charismatic she can feel his pull even now, after all this time. It makes her want to please him._

_Worse, it makes her want to_ follow _him._

_“No,” he says simply. “Not question. I’m not just questioning my orders, dearheart. I’m refusing them.”_

_Shock resounds through her, and her wings flex and flare in response. She takes a step back. “No, Luci, please, you cannot-“_

_“Disobey,” he says softly. “I intend to disobey.”_

_It is a… New word. She is smart, she can figure out what it means. The way it sounds on his tongue, she hates it. She despises the word, wants to strike it from his mouth, from existence._

_Instead, she shakes her head. “You cannot,” she whispers, now truly desperate._

_He holds his hand out to her._

_“Rebel with me, dearheart.”_

* * *

Dean sits in the bedroom on a chair next to the bed Jade is laid out on, wondering why the hell he’s there.

 _I’ve just got nothing better to do._ Castiel told them that there was nothing to be done, no research needed. They just have to wait until she wakes up, so they can talk to her. So they can see if she remembers being an angel.

_So that’s all it is. Just… Waiting for her to wake up._

He scoffs at himself and leans back in the chair. He can lie to himself about a lot of things, a _lot_ of things, but apparently not this.

He’s here because, for no good goddamn reason, he wants to be.

It wasn’t just because she’s pretty, although she really is. He’s somehow _drawn_ to her. It isn’t strong, it’s not like he _needs_ to be here. But the entire time he tried to pretend he was all right with being in the library or the kitchen, it was like a little niggling in the back of his skull.

_I should go check on her. Just to make sure she’s all right. What if she fell off the bed? What if… Okay, not a whole lot could happen while she’s in there, but dammit, I should go check on her anyway._

So here he finds himself, waiting for a woman he’s spoken probably fifteen words to to wake up, like some freakin’ high schooler.

She moans a little in her sleep, and despite himself, Dean sits up, almost eagerly.

Her grey eyes flutter open, and something in him relaxes. She frowns at the ceiling, then turns her head to look at him. He smiles. “Hey, Doc.”

She inhales sharply and blinks at him. “Where are we?” she rasps.

Trying not to think too hard about why, Dean bends and hands her the water bottle he brought down with him. _Definitely wasn’t for her. Just something to carry around._ “We’re at our place.”

She takes the water bottle, but doesn’t open it, and frowns harder. “Okay.”

He chuckles and rubs the back of his neck. “Uh, yeah, it’s kind of a… Bunker, not a house.”

She sits up slowly, looking around nervously. He wants to assure her that she’s safe, but anything he says at this point will probably make him sound like a rapist, so he stays silent.

“Uh-huh. Okay, I’ll bite. Why am I here?” she asks softly as she unscrews the cap from the water bottle.

He averts his gaze as she drinks. The picture of it, her lips wrapped around the bottle, her pale throat moving, it seems somehow private, sensual. _Head out of gutter, Winchester._

“Uh, to keep you safe. Those guys attacking you, they’re not gonna stop. They won’t be able to get to you here, so we have some breathing room to figure out our next step.”

She purses her lips and nods. “Okay, assuming I believe you, why were they attacking me?”

He sighs. “That’s probably a question for Cass.”

* * *

Castiel watches carefully as Jade Thorpe walks into the library. She moves gracefully, with careful movements that speak to him of angels. That, however, isn’t what he is so carefully observing.

He is closely examining the way Dean Winchester hovers over her, while trying not to look like he is hovering over her.

_Interesting. The rumors, then, may be true._

* * *

Jade’s sitting at a big, antique table across from Castiel. The Winchesters are standing around them (in a truly lovely library), and their combined gazes are making her antsy. Not for the normal reason, not because they’re staring at her. She can’t understand _what_ the reason is, but it isn’t a negative feeling, so she doesn’t question it just then.

She’s on a different mission.

“Okay, so what was up with those people?” She chooses the question that’s bothering her the most. “How were they so _strong?_ And _fast?”_ She frowns. “Wait, how was _I_ so strong and fast? Let’s start there.”

Dean nods, and Sam’s eyes are shining with approval, and for some reason, that makes her feel better, stronger. Unsettled, she looks over at Castiel again. _One thing at a time._

He heaves a sigh. “I believe I should tell you everything. It will take a while.”

She looks over at the Winchesters. “What time is it?”

Sam pulls his phone out. “It’s a little after eleven.”

“At night, right?”

He smiles and nods. “Yeah, you were only out for a couple of hours.”

She takes a deep breath and nodded. “All right, hit me.”

He nodded, and began to speak. “Before humanity was created, heaven was a simple place…”

* * *

“I believe that Amnayel fell,” Castiel says softly after he’s finished telling the story of Lucifer’s mate. His blue eyes bore into her. “And I believe that you are her.”

Jade just stares at him for a minute, in complete and utter shock. “Um…” She struggles to understand what he w’ss saying. Not because she believes him, but because _he_ believes that he is telling her the truth. It’s written all over his face.   
  
“Okay,” she says shakily. “You think that I am… This… Amnayel. Who was an angel. Who was Lucifer, the actual devil, his mate. And you think I fell… And became human. And you believe this because…”   
  
“I am an Angel of the Lord,” he says simply.   
  
She nods as if that makes sense. “Ah. Sure. Of course.” She takes a deep breath, then lets it out explosively. “Um, okay. And those people attacking me?”   
  
He looks grieved. “They were our brothers and sisters.”   
  
Jade blinks, because she’s an only child. “Uh-huh.”   
  
She looks over at the Winchesters, who are both leaning against a nearby table. Dean’s face is unreadable, but Sam’s looks sympathetic.   
  
“I know it’s a lot to take in,” he says gently.   
  
“Uh-huh.”   
  
“But we’ll do everything we can to protect you.”   
  
“Uh-huh.”   
  
Dean stands, drawing her eyes back to him. “You look like you need some air, sweetheart.”   
  
“Don’t call me sweetheart,” she says firmly, but she nods gratefully. “And yes, please.”   
  
He nods back and smirks. “Whatever you say, Doc. Let’s go.”   
  
He holds his hand out to her, and she slips hers into it without thinking. Frowning, she pulls it away when she’s standing. Jade isn’t a touchy-feely person, she isn’t used to skin-on-skin contact.   
  
Which is why what she does as she walks by Sam shakes her.

Dean leads her to the door, past Sam. Before she can even think about what she’s doing, much less stop herself, she reaches out and runs a hand down Sam’s arm, hoping to convey comfort.

When she realizes what she’s done, she refuses to look at either of them and just keeps her eyes on the ground, blushing furiously. _What is happening to me?_ she wonders desperately as she walks behind Dean. Why is she so drawn to these men? Why does she care if Sam was upset?

 _I don’t,_ she tells herself firmly. _I’m just gonna get the hell out of here as soon as he opens the door._

Before he opens the door at the top of the stairs, Dean turns and points at her. “Here’s the deal, Doc. The bunker is warded against angels, but it ends here, at the door. You’re gonna stand here, right inside. You can have as much air as you want, and I’ll even stand back a little ways. But you can’t actually leave the bunker. Got it?”

Jade cocks an eyebrow and crosses her arms. “So, what? You think I’m an angel, and now when you say ‘jump,’ I’m supposed to ask ‘how high?’”

He sighs. “Look, I just know more about this shit. You gotta trust me. I know this seems crazy, but put a little faith in us.”

She snorts and steps forward to push past him. “Yeah, I’ll just go ahead and do that, then.” She moves him out of the way, which is remarkably easy for such a big man, and opens the door.

Before she can step outside, however, she’s face-to-face with the petite blonde she was fighting on the road.

Jade blinks. “Um…”

She senses Dean standing behind her, his warmth baking onto her. She doesn’t have to turn around to know that his stance _screams_ protection and aggression.

“Amnayel,” the little blonde spits. “You’ve chosen to come out and take your punishment with some dignity, I should hope.”

Jade glares at her. “Ma’am, I don’t know why you people seem to think I’m this ‘Amnayel,’ or what exactly she’s being punished for, but I can assure you I’m not her.”

“Yes,” the woman in front of her says dryly. “Because those who are innocent always go running to the Winchesters.”

Jade turns to look up at Dean, who does not meet her gaze. He’s busy glowering at the woman in front of them. “You’re famous?”

“We get around,” he answers vaguely.

The woman snorts. “You destroy everything you touch, Dean Winchester. The same goes for your brother, and for Castiel.” She snarls the last name.

Jade just stares at the woman. “You really _can’t_ come in here,” she says softly, her head spinning. _Vivid hallucination,_ she assures herself. _This is all a very vivid hallucination. I work too much, I just need a vacation._

Since this _is_ a hallucination, Jade decides to roll with it.

“Look, lady,” she says sharply, “I still don’t know who you are, or what you want, but I think I’m pretty much done talking to you.” She smiles tightly. “You can go now.”

It would be a great exit line if she didn’t kind of temporarily forget that Dean is behind her. She steps back to shut the door in the snotty woman’s face, steps on Dean, then immediately and without thought jumps forward, an apology already forming on her lips.

Jumps forward to just outside the front door.

She meets the woman’s eyes, which are filling with a vindictive satisfaction. The blonde swings, and Jade catches it and uses her momentum to knock her off balance enough to pull her to the ground.

They grapple, and Jade watches in amazement and horror as her movements speed up to match the other woman’s. It isn’t even hard to match her speed, it just… Happens.

“Jade!”

Dean’s shout distracts her. A deep instinctual _need_ has her turning to make sure he’s still in the bunker, still safe.

He is not. He’s running toward them, one of the silver blades from before in his hand. Jade’s heart jumps into her throat when the woman she’s fighting turns for just a long enough moment to grab Dean by the throat, lift him in the ar as much as her delicate frame will allow, and toss him aside.

Following some training she didn’t know she has, Jade uses her advantage to get the woman on the ground with one knee in her back. Jade pins her arms to her sides and holds on as her opponent bucks and curses beneath her.

“Amnayel!” she snaps. “This is ridiculous!”

“Tell me about it,” Jade mutters as she watches Sam and Castiel run out the door. Sam goes to Dean, which makes a little part of her relax, and Castiel comes striding over to her.

“What happened?” he asks as he kneels next to her.

“I sort of stumbled, and she grabbed me, and then we were fighting.” Jade glares over at where Dean lies prone in front of Sam. “And then Hero Complex over there came running out with one of those swords, and she threw him.”

Castiel produces a pair of handcuffs with symbols etched on them and restrains the woman beneath Jade. “Kattriel,” he says severely, “I will release you as soon as I’m sure the Winchesters and Jade are safe.”

“They’ll never be safe,” she snarls. “We’ll keep coming, Castiel. She has to die, you _know_ that.”

Castiel looks grieved. “There is another solution, I’m certain of it. She does not remember-”

“Cass!”

Sam’s shout interrupts them, and Jade looks over to see him looking panicked over Dean. “Cass, he’s hurt!”

Jade’s there before she knows what happened, before it’s physically possible to be there. She pushes the fear and confusion that’s threatening to consume her to the back of her mind as she gently moves Sam out of the way to look at Dean.

There’s blood still seeping steadily from a gash on his forehead, and his eyes aren’t focusing on her. “Dean, can you hear me?” She asks, examining the way his pupils dilate at the sound of her voice. “Dean, can you talk to me?”

When there’s no response, her stomach clenches in anxiety. “Okay, I think he has a concussion, but the blood loss isn’t helping.”

Sam sighs. “Well, he’s had worse. He’ll be all right.”

She means to nod and ask if Sam will need help carrying him in. Instead, an instinct she somehow cannot fight right now tells her to frame Dean’s face in her hands, lean down, press her lips to his, and _push._

She feels warmth flowing from the vicinity of her heart, through her mouth, and into Dean. It feels good, but it’s kind of difficult, like she hasn’t done it in a while. It brings sensations _whooshing_ through her mind, and when she opens her eyes and sits up a little, she smiles to see Dean blinking up at her, focused, the only remnants of his injury the blood smeared on his face.

“Doc?” he asks, frowning. “You all right?”

Buzzing in her ears drowns him out. “Oh, yeah, I’m just gonna faint again,” she says softly before letting the warm darkness wash over her again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback gives me the warm fuzzies and keeps me going.  
> **Look! My Chuck, it's like I didn't just drop a few chapters of this story and then abandon it! That's so crazy! Whaaaaat?


	5. I've Got You, Doc

A few hours later, Sam is sitting next to Jade’s bed when her grey eyes flutter open. She sits up slowly, keeping silent, watchful eye contact for a few moments. He just gazes back at her until she speaks.

“I… I think I’m prepared to believe you now.”

Sam nods, relief that she doesn’t think they’re all crazy warring with anxiety that she lost consciousness _twice._ “Okay, that’s, uh, that’s good.” She snorts derisively, but he ignores her in favor of handing her the cell phone that fell out of her pocket when they carried her back inside. “You dropped this. It’s been going off.”

She frowns as she takes it. He watches her lovely hands as they unlock the screen, check the missed calls, and dial the number to listen to her voicemails.

His rapt attention allows him to see the way her knuckles whiten. He moves to look at her face, and the drawn, horrified set to her features has him out of his chair and hovering over her in a second. Everything in him is _screaming_ at him to put his arms around her, but he’s not sure if his touch is welcome.

He settles for asking in a soft voice, “Jade? Is everything okay?”

“No,” she whispers, eyes staring unseeing into nothing. “No, it is not.”

* * *

Jade never really ends up remembering how she gets from the bedroom that the Winchesters set her up in to the big, sleek car that they’re currently speeding down the Interstate in, but she’s not overly worried about it.

She’s in the backseat next to Castiel, ignoring the guilt-laden glances he’s shooting her way. Dean and Sam asked him to fly the four of them back to Jade’s hometown, but, with stricken eyes, Castiel explained that his grace is still too diminished. He almost didn’t make it through that first fight to help Jade still intact. The brothers are huffy about it, but Jade doesn’t really care. It’s only a few hours drive.

The damage is already done, anyway.

* * *

Jade gives Dean directions in a flat, monotone voice that she can’t bring herself to inject inflection into. She takes them to her vet practice first, because her entire world is wrapped up in the building.

As much as she tries, she can’t contain the distressed whimper that bursts its way through her lips when her eyes land on the pile of rubble and ashes, still flickering here and there with flames that haven’t been put out yet, that used to be the clinic she worked so hard to build.

When she moved to Tarington, South Dakota, she poured blood, sweat, and tears into building the clinic from the ground up. Quite literally, she initially purchased nothing but a small plot of land. For over a year, she worked, haggled, and negotiated with local contractors and suppliers to get what she needed. Just a week shy of eighteen months later, she had a grand opening ceremony for Thorpe Veterinary. It was attended by herself, Hannah (whose father had laid the brickwork in exchange for a job for his daughter) and her father, and a couple of people from town.

There are plenty more people there now.

Dean throws the Impala in park and lets out a low whistle. “Fuck,” he says with feeling.

Sam looks back at Jade, who cannot tear her eyes away from the remains of her life’s work. “Jade? Are you, um, are you gonna be okay going out there and talking to them?”

Jade tries to take a deep breath, finds herself unable to, and decides to just roll with that. “Well, I’m going to have to be, aren’t I?” And then gets out of the car.

She approaches, wondering who it is that she needs to talk to. Luckily, someone turns and sees her before she has to ask. As he approaches, she recognizes Alvin, one of three local volunteer firefighters.

“Doctor Thorpe! Thank God you’re all right!”

Jade ignores that, because it’s a stupid thing to say. Of _course_ she’s not all right. “What-” her voice breaks, and she clears her throat and tries again. “What happened?”

He’s looking behind her warily when he answers. “We’re not sure. The investigation is ongoing.”

Jade nods, because she doesn’t know what else to do, but she hears Sam’s deep, authority-soaked voice behind her. It relaxes something deep within her, but she ignores that.

“Where are the trucks?”

Alvin blinks. “Excuse me? Who are you?”

Suddenly, having someone else ask the hard questions seems like a wonderful idea. Everything she’s ever taken on herself, every offer of help that she’s turned down, it all seems to weigh her down and make it hard for her to speak.

The problem with never asking for help, of course, is that now she isn’t sure how to. She wants to just give all of the responsibility over to these men she just met, but who have saved her life at least twice so far. She wants someone else to take care of business so she can hide away and lick her wounds.

But she doesn’t know how to ask for that, and she wouldn’t ask it of strangers, anyway.

Jade clears her throat. “Uh, yeah. Where are the trucks? I mean, for fuck’s sake, Al, the building is still smoking.” _There. That is the question of someone who is still in charge._

Alvin frowns. “Jade, how much do you-”

Before he can finish the thought, hoarse screams cut through the air.

Jade feels Dean tense beside her (and when did he get there?) while Sam and Castiel do the same from behind. She turns to look at the source of the disturbance, and feels her blood slowly turn to sluggishly  moving ice water in her veins.

Hannah’s father, Tom, is being restrained as gently as possible by a few men who have been standing around the wreckage. His words, while broken and hard to understand, send Jade’s thoughts spiralling off into nonsense.

_“Hannah! Where’s Hannah?! Hannah, baby, come out here! Hannah!”_

Jade feels like she’s outside of her body. She knows her eyes are wide and her face is drawn tight in shock. “What?” she breaths out, feeling everything shift and rock beneath her. She turns to look at Alvin. “What is he talking about? Hannah is… Hannah’s at the hospital or something, right She’s not… I mean… She’s not… She’s _fine.”_

She knows she’s starting to hyperventilate, but she can’t stop it, this is too _much._ Hannah is _fine,_ she’s going to show up _any second,_ and she’ll be scared and shaken and crying, but ultimately she will be _safe_ and _sound_ and _fine._

Jade can see Alvin talking, she sees his mouth forming the words, terrible words, words like, “I’m so sorry,” and “nothing we could do,” and “smoke inhalation,” but she’s not taking any of it in. She’s just staring at him, feeling horror and grief really start to sink their awful claws into her heart, and _what the fuck is he talking about Hannah died?!_

Strong arms come around her, stopping her from attacking Alvin, which she abruptly realizes she was going to do. Which makes no sense, because it’s not like Alvin did anything, he just has to stop _saying_ that shit. Christ, she _gets_ it, can he please just stop talking and go away? She _knows,_ she _knows_ that sweet, lovely Hannah, with her youth and brightness and passion, Jade _knows_ what his words mean, that all of that has been snuffed out. That everything Hannah was and is has been washed away, by smoke and fire instead of water.

Hannah’s dead.

Oh, _God._

Jade feels herself whimper, and feels her legs start to buckle. Before she can fall, the arms around her tighten their hold, and she gratefully leans into the warm, broad chest next to her.

Stubble scrapes her face just a little, then Dean’s deep voice is in her ear. “I’ve got you, Doc. It’s all right, baby, I’ve got you, we’ll take care of it.”

Jade realizes dully that she has stopped supporting herself at all, Dean is holding her up, which is inexplicably and tremendously comforting, that he’s strong enough to just let her collapse against him.

She’s also aware of a high keening noise that, under further investigation, is coming from her own throat, and there are tears starting to pour down her face. She tries idly to remember the last time she cried, and finds that she cannot.

She feels big hands turn her so she’s facing Dean. She wants to hold out, to not need this, because it bewilders her that she’s already leaned on anyone so much, in ways that are so significant, in the last few minutes.

In reality, Jade only lasts a moment before she’s burying her face in his chest and whimpering. She lets his arms, wrapped around her and keeping her tight against him, block everything out so she can weep.

* * *

Dean is dying as he holds Jade, rocking back and forth just a little, letting her cry her heart out. He gets the feeling she doesn’t do this very often.

He meets Sam’s sorrowful eyes over her head, and a bolt of understanding passes through them. Whatever’s going on, whatever it is that’s between the two of them and the woman currently in his arms, making both of them hover over her like concerned husbands, it doesn’t matter. There’s no jealousy or bitterness or even that much weirdness. It’s just an overwhelming urge to take care of her.

“Alvin,” Sam says softly. “We’re friends of Jade’s. Can you… Can you come tell me what happened? Over here a little?”

Alvin is still staring at Jade, which is making Dean want to fucking murder him. His eyes flick up to Dean’s, who’s glaring, then to Sam, who’s just looking back serenely. “Yeah.” He seems to snap himself out of it a little, and rubs a hand down his face hard. “Jesus, this is a fucking mess.”

Dean nods. _At least we agree on that much._

Alvin takes a deep breath, lets it out explosively, and meets Dean’s eyes again. “I’m glad she’s got someone to take care of her. She’s gonna need it.”

* * *

“Fuck,” Sam mutters. Then, when nothing else seems to really capture how he feels, _“Fuck.”_

Castiel nods next to him. “Indeed.”

“Cass, this is… This is bad. Are you sure it was angels?”

“I have difficulty believing that Jade’s home _and_ her business burning to the ground on the same day is a coincidence.”

Sam nods again, grim. “Yeah, okay. So what’s the fucking point? I mean, they _killed_ a _kid.”_

“I believe the hope was that, in her despair, Jade would lash out, make herself a target."

Sam winces, feeling sick to his stomach. He remembers a time when he thought the angels would be righteous, godly. The only righteous angel he’s ever met is Cass.

“I’m just… Having trouble wrapping my head around them killing a kid to get to Jade. I get that she’s Lucifer’s mate, or whatever, but you made it sound like she didn’t follow him down. I guess I just don’t get it.”

Cass looks uncomfortable. “There is much that we haven’t had time to discuss.” He looks around again. “And I fear that we do not have the time now. We need to leave.”

Sam stares. “What? Cass, we _just_ got here. There’s no way we can ask Jade to-”

“I don’t like it either, Sam,” Cass snaps, effectively shutting Sam the hell up. His blue eyes are flashing with ire. “I am not heartless, Sam, and Jade means a great deal to me. I would do much to protect her.” His eyes shift, and Sam follows his friend’s gaze to where Dean is still holding Jade, head bent to murmur in her ear.

The sight sends a pang through Sam’s heart, though not the itching jealousy he expects. It’s more like… Comfort. Contentedness. Seeing Dean with Jade, knowing that he’ll take care of her, makes something deep in Sam warm and serene. He doesn’t examine the feeling closely, it’s too nice to scrutinize.

He turns back to Cass and nods. “All right. Let’s get this sorted out and take her home with us.”

* * *

Jade wakes up slowly, cocooned in warmth and softness. She stays still, reveling in it, breathing deeply. Everything around her smells like fabric softener, making her smile.

She has to get up soon, she knows she does. She has to check on Ketchup, and send Hannah home to do homework. Her genius-level math classes aren’t going to finish themselves.

As her eyes flutter open, reality crashes back down around her.

Fire. Rubble. Smoke drifting along the pavement of what used to be a neatly kept parking lot. Bystanders (rubberneckers, maybe? is that what they were doing?). Alvin. Hannah.

Hannah’s dead. The angels killed Hannah because of Jade, and her refusal to let them kill her for crimes she doesn’t understand, and doesn’t remember committing.

For a moment, just a brief spot in time, Jade considers giving up. Maybe dying won’t be so bad? Her life certainly isn’t full of people who would miss her. Hell, she’s been so busy for the last two year, she hasn’t even gotten a _cat._

Which brings her thoughts back to Ketchup.

Which brings them back to Hannah.

Which _pisses Jade off._

How _dare_ these feathery bastards harm Hannah? Hannah, who was not only a paramount of everything good and bright and coming up in the world, but who was an _innocent._

Jade decides that she doesn’t trust angels, besides Castiel.

She thinks for a while about the three men who are undoubtedly walking around in their _underground bunker_ (and who says that like it’s a normal thing? it is _not_ a normal thing). She thinks about how safe she had felt with Sam standing behind her, and how sheltered she’d felt in Dean’s arms. She thinks about how strange it is that she’s drawn to these brothers, a stronger connection than she’s ever had with anyone outside of animals. How they said, “come home with us,” and she just agreed to it.

She decides to ignore her swirling thoughts in favor of pressing her face into a pillow and going back to sleep.

The Winchesters and their angel will be there when she gets up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback gives me the warm fuzzies and keeps me going.  
> **I have no excuse for the wait. I'm sorry.  
> **All will be explained soon, I promise!


	6. Nothing Will Change

Sam swings hard, and Jade dodges, but she does keenly feel the drag of exhaustion on her muscles. She supposes it’s too much to hope for that he doesn’t see it.

His smirk tells her that she’s right. “Slowin’ down, there.”

She rolls her eyes. “Shut it, Winchester.”

It’s been two weeks since her life burned down at the hands of angels, and Jade has learned some things about the men she’s living with now.

The first is that the Winchesters are heartbreakingly familiar with grief. Her first two days in the bunker were spent not moving from her bed (what she thinks of as her bed, anyway) except use the attached bathroom. She just stayed there, staring at the ceiling, mourning. She was briefly worried that she would be hassled to come out and be with the living, but to her great relief, she was left alone. The Winchesters know how to grieve, and they know how to let someone do the same.

There has been a fair amount of tragedy in Jade’s life, though, so she’s pretty good at picking up the pieces. So, two days after she lost everything but (quite literally) the clothes on her back, she emerged from her room, ready to face the world again.

The second thing she learned about Sam and Dean is that they love the holy bejeesus out of one another. Oh, they argue, and bicker, and have gotten damn close to a couple of actual fistfights, but the love there is strong and abundant. It puts a dull ache in Jade’s heart that she assures herself isn’t jealousy.

She also learned that, while they look like big, tough men whose wardrobes consist of only flannels, boots, and scowls, the Winchester brothers are… Well, they’re both giant dorks, for lack of a better word. There are movie marathons almost every night, friendly arguments about lore, references that just go right over her head. During those times, she usually meets Cass’ confused gazed with her own, although the underlying fondness for Sam and Dean in his blue eyes overwhelms her sometimes, and she has to look away.

If she _had_ to lose everything and start over, Jade can’t think of a place she’d rather be.

* * *

Dean watches Jade spar with his brother in the bunker’s gym, and can’t help but be impressed.

The good doctor has had one hell of a few weeks, and she’s still standing. Kicking Sam’s ass, to boot. Dean admires the hell out of her, so he’s trying _not_ to admire the hell out of her ass in the leggings she’s wearing. Because she’s in _grieving,_ her whole life has been dumped upside down, so lusting after her at all would be inappropriate and a little creepy.

So Dean keeps his ogling to a minimum and his dirty thoughts firmly in his head.

Sam swings again, and this time Jade catches it, spins, and yanks him off-balance. His giant frame goes shockingly easily in whatever direction Jade pulls, and her big, rolling laughter lifts Dean’s heart.

Once she came out of her bedroom, Jade seemed determined to move forward. For someone who’s spent his whole life looking back, it’s one more thing for Dean to be impressed about.

However, none of them were certain _how_ to move forward until Cass asked Jade about her angelic strength and reflexes, and if she’s always had them. She said no, and now here they are.

Cass thinks that Jade’s (Amnayel’s? Dean’s not sure) grace was kicking in to protect her when the angels attacked on the highway. When Jae said she’s never been in a life-threatening situation before, either, Cass nodded like it confirmed something for him, and suggested sparring to try to trigger the heavenly reflexes again.

It’s working rather well. She’s definitely stronger than a normal human woman, and sometimes her movements are so fast that only Cass’ eyes can track them. Dean is struggling to not find the whole thing devastatingly arousing.

He’s never been so violently affected by a woman before. Oh, sure, he’s had the hots for someone, but it hasn’t been like this. The way he’s reacting to Jade is all-consuming and visceral. He can feel his heart rate pick up when she’s close, and he feels bereft when she’s gone. It’s ridiculous and insane.

It’s also wildly addicting.

He’s been noticing that Sam reacts to her, too, which would normally make him jealous, but somehow, it doesn’t. It just feels… Right. Which is weird, but not even close to the weirdest thing they’ve gone through, so he’s not going to worry about it.

Especially since Jade has made it clear that she isn’t buying what either Winchester is laying down. Dean doesn’t blame her, the whole situation is complicated enough without adding sex into the mix. No matter how much he’d really, _really_ like to add sex to the mix.

 _She wouldn’t want you, anyway,_ a sly voice in the back of his head whispers. _Not with all that blood on your hands._

It’s been like this the whole time Jade has been with them. Dean wants her, he wants her _bad,_ but this voice in his head is telling him that there’s no way she would want him, and he knows that the voice has a point.

Even if she was inclined to choose between the brothers, which she isn’t, why would she ever look at him twice with Sam around? Sam, who’s smart like her, who’s sweet and gentle. Who knows five dollar words, and hasn’t done any torturing of souls in hell, and hasn’t become a fucking demon.

Sam, who’s all around better than Dean, inside and out. Why the hell would she ever see Dean when Sam is here?

He’s pulled out of his reverie by laughing grey eyes meeting his. He blinks. “Huh?”

Jade is smiling. She’s covered in a thin sheen of sweat, glowing with health and humor. “Earth to Winchester,” she says, her voice lilting and washing over him. “Wanna tap in? Sam’s a wuss.”

Dean meets Sam’s eyes over her head, and sees both amusement and understanding there, which pisses him off. Sam has some sort of sixth sense about when Dean’s self-hatred flares up, and since it’s been happening more and more often the last couple of weeks, Sam’s being trying to circumvent it. It’s fucking infuriating.

Dean doesn’t say anything about it, though, because it’s a useless fight that they’ve fought over and over and over again. He just rolls his eyes and smirks at Jade. “Sure thing, Doc.”

He strips his flannel off, leaving himself in a thin grey t-shirt that he did _not_ choose because it matches Jade’s eyes, because that would be _crazy_. He’s wearing jeans, but they’re thin, too, old and worn and comfortable, so he’s not willing to switch to sweats like Sam has on (nerd). He turns to fling his overshirt onto the table and turns around, almost eager to get his hands on Jade, even for the moment it will take for her to wipe the floor with him.

Which is all fine and dandy until her eyes roll back in her head and she collapses.

* * *

"Wanna tap in? Sam’s a wuss.”

Jade turns and smiles at Dean, ignoring how the green of his eyes and that goddamn _perpetual_ stubble sends heat warming through her (she’s not sure if it’s even sexual, it doesn’t feel totally sexual. It feels… Like comfort). She’s got enough to be distracted by with Sam’s broad shoulders and soft hair and _even more perpetual stubble,_ not that she has a weakness for it. _Attractive bastards,_ she thinks happily, watching as Dean rolls his eyes at Sam and starts to unbutton his flannel shirt. “Sure thing, Doc.”

She lets herself watch raptly as his chest is bared, wearing a t-shirt that’s a remarkably similar color to the one she sees in her eyes in the mirror every day (not that the thought makes her heart beat faster, _obviously),_ while reminding herself rather fruitlessly that she does _not_ intend to sleep with the Winchesters, either one of them (not that she’d be able to choose one, anyway).

Her eyes fall onto an angry, raised, red mark on Dean’s right arm. Her ears start to ring, her eyesight goes fuzzy, and she has just enough time to think _I recognize that_ and _god dammit not again_ before everything turns black.

* * *

_Amnayel lies next to Lucifer in their nest, their wings draped over the sides. They’re arranged so she can examine the Mark that their Father left on her mate. “It’s… Angry.”_

_“Well, the Darkness was angry, too,” Lucifer says reasonably. “It makes sense that her cage reflects her emotions.”_

_A sense of foreboding has Amnayel lifting a wing and covering the two of them with it protectively. “It… It makes me nervous.”_

_Her mate, ever unworried, smiles and wraps a hand around the back of her neck to draw her forward and press a kiss to her forehead. “Hush, dearheart. Nothing will change.”_

* * *

_Amnayel is screaming, tearing the nest she so recently slept with her beloved in. She suspects she is crying, but has no proof._

_“You_ promised!” _she shrieks. “You promised me that nothing would change!”_

* * *

_Amnayel flies fast, dodging through pillars, clouds, and flocks of her family, flying away from her mate. Her happy laughter rings through the heavens, and even Raphael puts on an indulgent smile at the sound._

_She rounds a corner, determined to win, and runs smack dab into Michael._

_“Oh! Oh, Michael, I’m sorry!” she gasps, trying to wipe the smile off of her face._

_Michael studies her for an extremely intense moment, one that makes her cock her head to the side in curiosity, before he smiles. “He will catch you if you wait here longer, Amnayel,” he says gently._

_She sucks in a sharp breath, then darts around him. “Thank you!” she calls behind her. She squeals in delight when she sees Lucifer fly around Michael. Her lead has been cut direly short._

* * *

_Amnayel is in their nest, her chest pressed down and her knees beneath her, leaving her open and vulnerable for her mate. Lucifer is whispering in her ear, driving her mad. Her slim wrists are pinned by his hands, her wings spread and held fast by his own, and she writhes beneath him as he drives her to climax over and over again._

* * *

_Amnayel weeps into Michael’s chest. She does not know where she is, or what they are doing here, or how long they have been here. She does not care._

_“How could he leave me, Michael?” she asks brokenly._

_One hand is running through her wings, stroking the feathers gently, while the other arm keeps her tight against him. He presses a kiss to her temple. “I do not know what was in his mind, Amnayel, but I know that if he could have avoided harming you, he would have.”_

_She sniffles. “Maybe before,” she whimpers, “but not now. Not after the Mark.”_

* * *

The Mark, _an insidious voice whispers to her._

* * *

Jade wakes up on her back, still in the gym. The three men hover over her, varying degrees of concern and guilt written on their faces.

“Thank fuck,” Dean whispers, so soft she suspects only she can hear it, and she wonders if he’s already blaming himself for her losing consciousness again. It seems to be a theme with Dean.

Sam is smiling a little. “Kinda making a habit out of this, you know.”

Cas is silent.

“Yeah, yeah,” Jade says with a smile. “I’m fine, I’m fine. Back up, let me sit up.”

The three of them lean back so she can pull herself up so she’s sitting instead of lying down. She runs both hands down her face, then looks at Dean again. He’s put the flannel back on. “Let me see.”

He frowns.

 _“Dean,”_ she says severely. “Let me see it again, please?”

“Last time you looked at it, you passed out.”

“I’ll brace myself.” She holds a hand out to him and curls her fingers. “Gimme.”

Dean looks at Cass, who shrugs. “I believe it was the shock of seeing it that sent Jade into unconsciousness, not necessarily the actual Mark.”

“The Mark,” Jade murmurs to herself, watching as Dean admits defeat and starts to roll his right sleeve up.

Once it’s above his elbow, she scoots over to him and wraps her fingers around his wrist so she can extend his arm and look at the Mark closely. It’s red and raised, like it was before, and she can see how angry it is, but it almost seems… Smug, to her. Like it won a battle she didn’t even know she was fighting in. More importantly, it seems out of place.

“This is on the wrong arm,” she says softly.

Dean frowns again. “Always been on the right.”

“No, I mean it shouldn’t be on _your_ arm.” She looks up at him and tilts her head. “How did it get here?”

Dean swallows hard, and she sees fear in his eyes before he hesitantly answers. “I… We… We needed to kill a Knight of Hell, Abaddon, but the only way to do that was with the First Blade. And to use the First Blade-“

“You needed the Mark of Cain,” she murmurs, gently running a thumb over the raised skin on the inside of the hunter’s elbow. “It didn’t used to be called that, you know.”

“What?” That’s from Sam, who’s watching the exchange with wary eyes. “What do you mean?”

“It was just called the Mark when Lucifer got it,” she says softly. “It was a cage for The Darkness, and Father gave Lucifer the Mark to keep it safe, keep the Darkness at bay. It wasn’t called the Mark of Cain until… Well, until Cain took it from Lucifer to save his brother.” She can see Sam’s perplexed frown from the corner of her eye, but she keeps her gaze on Dean’s arm.

“Oh, Dean,” she says softly. “What are we going to do about this?”

“We ain’t gotta do nothing,” Dean says gruffly. “I’m fine, I’ve got a handle on it.”

“For now,” she says, shaking her head, baffled by his willingness to pretend he’s fine while being the farthest thing from fine a man possibly can be. “But the Mark will take control eventually, Dean.” He flinches, and she looks up to see warring guilt and stubbornness in his eyes. “Again,” she says gently, without censure in her tone. “It will take control again.”

“Not if I don’t die.”

“I believe dying simply expedited the process,” Cass says suddenly. “The Mark is… Persuasive. It would have gotten to you eventually, as it did, and it will do so again. Starting from the beginning will not stop it.”

“Well then what the hell are we supposed to do?” Sam’s angry, but trying to control it.

“And isn’t Jade the priority here?” Dean says imploringly. “We gotta figure out why the angel squad has got it out for her.”

“No,” Jade says firmly. “No, that will keep. I’m safe here.” She meets Cass’ eyes. “This is more urgent.”

The angel nods. “She is correct.”

Sam nods, too, Jade feels relieved, and Dean gives a defeated sigh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback gives me the warm fuzzies and keeps me going.  
> **"More often updates," I said, like a trash person. My bad.  
> 


	7. Author's Note & Apology

First, I want to thank everyone who reads Jade's story with me. I can't tell you how much I appreciate it.

However, my life is a mess. Writing original fiction just... Isn't in the cards for me right now. It's different with _I'_ _ll Wait For You_  and _I Won't Love You_  because most of the plot isn't mine, and the stories come to me as I read the episode transcripts, I don't have to come up with any uber-original ideas.

So, here's what I'm going to do.

I'm going to take a break from  _I Think I Might Need You._ I do plan on coming back to Jade and the boys, it's just that the idea train has left the station, and until therapy starts really helping and I'm back on my feet, I can't do it.

I'm sorry. I understand if you're upset, or if you unsubscribe, unfollow, or unbookmark. I hope you come back to this story once I can, too.


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